


Newsies Short Fics

by shadow_preachers



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Angst, Depression, Gay Newsies, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Javey - Freeform, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Trans Racetrack Higgins, race needs a hug, sprace
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:53:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29529447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shadow_preachers/pseuds/shadow_preachers
Summary: Oneshots with our beloved Newsies characters. Most of these are vent fics so be prepared for a lot of angst! I'll update as I go :)First story: Talk Me Down - Race (Jack & Crutchie find Race on the rooftop, referenced hurt and much needed comfort)
Relationships: David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Kudos: 8





	Newsies Short Fics

**Author's Note:**

> So this one IS a vent fic! Trigger warning for mentions of self harm and panic attack stuff. Please just skip this chapter if that might trigger you or harm you in any way <3  
> This idea came to me when listening to Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan, so that's why this one has been named after it.

He’d done it. Again. The one thing Race promised himself he would never do again. The evidence of his mistake laid out in front of him in harsh, red lines on his arm. Three years. Three years wasted, gone. All for nothing. He looked around at his surroundings, seeing the streets of Manhattan below from where he stood on the rooftop. On Jack’s rooftop. Logically, Race knew Jack could be back any minute. Hell, he could’ve come back up that ladder an hour ago and stopped the younger Newsie from doing this to himself. But it was too late to be thinking like that. 

Race finally took in the deep weight that this had put back on his shoulders, and lost it. The sixteen year-old sobbed loudly, hugging his unharmed right arm close around himself and trying to breathe. But it was pointless as he was already struggling to get air into his lungs. He felt himself fall to the ground on his knees, crying harder than he had in a very long time. All Race could say, over and over again, was why?? Why can he never escape this prison? 

And he stayed like that, on the floor of the roof, curled in on himself in an attempt to feel safe again, until Jack and Crutchie found him. With the oldest Newsie’s help, Crutchie made his way up the ladder and stood, leaning on his crutch when he saw him. “Race! Oh m- Jack!” Was all Crutchie could say, rushing the other teen up the ladder as he walked as quickly as he could over to his clearly distressed friend. Jack followed the second he saw the young blond, immediately sinking down next to Race. “Ey, Racer, what’s goin’ on?” He asked, but got no response except the harsh heaving of Racetrack, who faced away from him. Jack was about to ask him again, when he looked at the boy’s arm. He had been hesitant to touch Race, in case he was having a panic attack and didn’t want to be touched- but this changed everything.

As Crutchie sat himself down on the other side of the younger Newsie, Jack quickly wrapped his arms around Race’s abdomen, pulling the devastated boy against his chest. Race hadn’t realized that he still grasped the blade tightly in his fist until he felt Jack gently pry it away and throw it across the roof. “Race.. it’s okay. It’s alright” Jack said as he set one hand in the boy’s blond hair and the other on his shoulder so his own arm would rest across his chest.

His arm’s light pressure on his chest seemed to be doing what Jack had hoped it would- Race‘s breathing started to get deeper. The three boys sat in silence for a few minutes, the only sound filling the air being desperate cries from Race. Crutchie finally had to ask, “what happened?” But Race refused to meet his eyes. He seemed to calm down, but that all went to hell when Crutchie watched the boy’s eyes fall to his abused skin. Race started violently shaking, even though he didn’t feel cold. But they all knew why the boy was shaking. Crutchie suddenly reached over and grabbed the nearest thing he could find- an extra shirt from his own belongings- and carefully put it over Race’s arm which sat limply in front of him as though he had no control over the limb at all. “Don’ look at it, Racer. Focus on me ‘n Jack, okay?” Crutchie reassured calmly, to which he almost sighed in relief when Race frantically nodded against Jack in agreement. 

They let another minute of sort-of-silence fall between them. But they all knew they couldn’t allow it to last long. “Race, I’s need you’s to tell me what happened.” Jack stated. 

Race only nodded, tremors still wracking his body that he couldn’t seem to stop. Jack realized that meant he couldn’t necessarily talk yet, so he did for him. “You was numb again, huh?” Another nod was his response. This time Crutchie spoke, “you’s seemed off all week. Did somethin’ happen today?” More tears fell down Race’s face, they just seemed to keep coming- but he shook his head. 

That was the thing. Nothing happened today. He felt nothing. But it was so MUCH nothing, that it was everything. It consumed Race. He hadn’t been sad, happy, mad, anything all day long. The past week he had fallen into some kind of sad slump, but today was just so much worse. And he didn’t know WHY. Race needed to feel something. And the only way he knew how to successfully do that in the past...

“Race? What’s goin’ on in that head o’ yours? C’mon, you’s got us with you. We ain’t goin’ nowhere.” Jack pulled him from his thoughts, and he finally felt able to speak up. “Th- Three years. Three years.” Race shook. “I’s done it, I failed, I’s worthless.” Jack and Crutchie both quickly spoke in protest, but Race hardly cared. Nothing they could say would change anything about this situation. He’d heard it all before, but no one knew what it was like anyways. How could they possibly help him? 

“You’s not worthless, don’ you dare say that.” It would have been a reprimand if Crutchie hadn’t said it so softly. Jack shook his head almost in disbelief and turned to look the boy in the face. “Yeah, three years. Three years you’s stayed ‘way from all this. Sure, you struggled. But you never wen’ back to this routine.” 

Race almost wanted to say ‘gee, thanks, Jack. Tell me something I don’t already know’ but Jack continued. “But those years don’ just go away cause of this. They don’ just mean nothin’. That’s a major accomplishment and all that!” Jack stared into his brother’s eyes, desperately hoping he was getting it. Crutchie kept going for him. “Yeah, Race- jus’ because you’s did it again, that doesn’t mean you’s failed. Those three years mean somethin’, they means a lot! It’s a really hard thing to escape, ain’t it?” He paused, and when Race realized he was waiting, he nodded. “Then there ya go.” Crutchie grasped his shoulder in support. Jack smiled sadly and sighed, “look, Race. We may not knows about this stuff. We never done the same, but we ain’t stupid. We even know better than you’s that a... what’s that word. Davey’s used it.” Jack paused and Race almost laughed through his tears when Crutchie looked just as helpless and shrugged.

“Relapse! That’s the damn word.. a relapse does not erase the progress you makes before.” Jack finished, and Race looked thoughtful before looking totally defeated again, dropping his head down and saying in the most miserable, broken voice the boys had heard from him; “I can’ do this no more. I’s losin’, fellas. It’s a never endin’ fight and I ain’t strong enough.” 

“You ain’t gonna do this alone! You got us, dumb ass.” Crutchie’s total bluntness was enough to get a laugh from both Jack and Race. The shaking teen had stopped crying at this point, just sat staring at the two Newsies who surrounded him. Maybe this didn’t have to be a solo thing. He’s got his brothers. And even without them, if Race ever finds himself stuck in a situation like this again; he’ll never forget Jack’s (or more like Davey’s) words.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed this lil fic! I pulled from some experience with what Race was feeling, so his thoughts are coming from a genuine place. And that means Jack and Crutchie's words are also genuine! So be kind to yourselves, life won't be all this black and white nonsense forever <3  
> ~shadow_preachers


End file.
